TS: The House On Mango Street and Son share the theme of being trapped.

CD: In The house on Mango Street, Sally has to stay home all day while her husband is at work and no one can visit her.

CM: Therefore, she has no fun and no social life.

CM: Which in turn, means she is practically trapped.

CD: In Son, the boy stays in his room all the time because he does not like his family.

CM: This means, he has a bad social life and can’t deal with his family very well.

CM: Which means, he does not have good people skills or is angry.

CS: In conclusion, the theme of being trapped is very much displayed in these stories.

Son Elements:

1. Alliteration and Similie-Yet his sleep so solid he sweats like a stone in the wall of a well.

2. Personification- The applause groped for them then died.

3. Rhyme- I imagined indeed, that I had been conceived.

4. Alliteration- Written in brown ink with a tiny tame hand.

5.

6.

7.

8.

House on Mango Street Elements:

1. Similie- It is like the number nine.

2. All brown all around.

3. Alliteration- The baby’s feet had ten tiny toes.

4. Alliteration and Similie- The mothers feet, plump and polite, descending like white pigeons from the sea of pillow.

5. Simlie and Alliteration- Crumples like a coat and cries.

6. Similie- I want to be like the waves on the sea.

7. Personification- And grab the earth between their hairy toes and bite the sky with their violent teeth.

8. Similie- My eyes melt into the ground like two black snails.

I believe The House On Mango Street did a better job of using the literary elements. There were more evidence of them. The House On Mango Street was more interesting and fun. Son didn’t have barely any literary elements and was slow and boring. The House On Mango Street described with very much detail using the elements, unlike Son.

I believe Isabella would earn a B. It wasn’t too organied, but the thesis and conclusion were thought out. She has a hook and an intersting intro paragraph that explains the issue. In many of the sentences it repeats the same idea. I suggest that she really go through and focus on each paragraph and make sure there are tags and add more facts.

Isabella said that I need to add more to my paragraphs and tell how I am going to solve the problem for my thesis. She also said she would give me an A because it was good and organized. The things I plan to do is go through my essay thoroughly, and finish up. I need to get my solution for my thesis done and also make stuff longer. I will do this this weekend.

Revision Elements:

• The main idea is stated in the first paragraph.
• The main idea stays the same throughout the story.
• It “hooks” the reader.
• Theme is clear.
• Stay using the same ‘tense’.

Editing Elements:

• Use correct capitalization.
• No contractions.
• No R.I.P words.
• Uses action verbs.
• Correct sentence structure.

What I discovered is that I have a lot of improvements that need to be made. I need to use better sentence starters. Also I need to fix the “slang” words. My memoir needs a conclusion. I also needs better verbs and adverbs.

Raven you should have been more original.  You needed transitions in your conclusions. The word “the” in the topic sentence of paragraph 2, does not need to be capitalized. Also use quotations in your concrete details. The word “gifts” in paragraph 1 doesn’t need to be capitalized.  Over all it was pretty good.

TS: The symbols change because Jim and Della couldn’t use the gifts.

CD: Della gets combs but cuts all her hair off and Jim gets a fob but sells his watch.

CM: It’s a bad idea to buy gifts you didn’t have money for to begin with.

CM: This is because it could end badly.

CS: In conclusion, love is more important than material items.

TS: Elena shouldn’t have reacted differently, she was acting appropriete for how she was treated.

CD: Elena was in shock and didn’t speak and Eugene’s mother was rude.

CM: This shows that Elena was sad.

CM: This is because Eugene’s mom was out of line.

CS: In conclusion, Eugene’s mother is too judgemental.

TS: The narrator should not have cut the line because she wasn’t worth it.

CD: He loves fishing but Sheila does not.

CM: This shows that she is stuck up.

CM: This shows that he shouldnt have gone out with her, she is older and doesn’t have the same interests.

CS: In conclusion, she was not a good date.

TS: It was appropriete for Della to cut her hair to buy the watch fob because she wanted to get him a great gift.

CD: Jim wasn’t mad at Della for cutting her hair, and he liked the gift. 

CM: Della did the right thing.

CM: She wanted to show Jim full emotions for him.

CS: She loved her husband more than her hair.